Journal Time

I feel like so much has changed in my life over the past 16 months. I've come to many revelations; the most important of those is the realization that nobody cares. I don't mean that in a bad way, I really don't. What I mean here is, I basically spent the better part of my entire teaching career (since July of 2005) ranting on this and other blogs about things I deemed important, thinking that putting them out there would be great, because others deserve my opinion. I spent time on Myspace (when that was cool) and on Facebook (where I still show off pictures of my family and give others a hard time about their stupid Farmville stuff). Now, it's all changed.

This past year, something happened. My accomplishments were no longer a big deal to me. I no longer felt the need to tell others what I did for a living when asked (my common answer: "I'm a guy who works at a place"), and I no longer felt the need to impart my knowledge of all things to others at any given moment. Needless to say my blogging and participation in online chats basically stopped.

What's funny is, as I grow older, I begin to understand more of the world and how I fit in it. I'm not old by any means (of course when I started this blog I was 24, now I'm 29, so years have passed, but not that many), but my ideologies and general world view have shifted dramatically in these past five years. I am fundamentally a different person than I was 5 years ago, unrecognizable from the teen I was only 10 short years ago.

What's great is that once you stop talking and start listening to others, you find that other people can be great, and yes, some can be horribly idiotic. I am much quieter now, I make it a point to not speak about myself unless the other person shows genuine interest (and that never happens). In fact, even blogging here on my former personal journal/blog has an odd feel about it. I do this with the realization that no one will ever read it, because I'm sure my blog has basically been torn down from Google's search pages, and I'm ok with that.

I feel like a better person now. Yeah, life has a lot of stress, but it's fulfilling in many ways. My job is amazing, my family is amazing, my friends are amazing, and I am a self-admitted idiot who is learning to grow and live in a world that doesn't know I exist, and I am starting to love it.