Another Year on the Job

This is one of the longer periods I've gone without posting to this blog. Obviously, the end of my summer was pretty busy, and then I went back to work. Today was the first day of school in fact, and I'm sitting here not really effected much by it.

I woke up this morning, got ready, and went to work. You know, that's kind of what it is, work. I don't identify my existence as a teacher, it doesn't define who I am. I think that's always served me well to look at it that way, and I got through my first three years of teaching without being too burned out or disillusioned.

As I looked out there at those smiling faces today, I knew a few things. The first was that I'll be there for those kids, I'll be the teacher they deserve, I'll give them 100% of my attention and ability during the school day. I also knew that I will hold to my work hours as a teacher. I don't bring work home, I don't stay late, and I don't do weekends. The moment I'm allowed to leave work, I cease to become a teacher, and I come home to my family. Two nights per week this semester I'll actually be taking doctoral courses from something like 4:30 to 7:15, so the need to be able to cut out on time and "leave it all there" will be a growing necessity.

The biggest thing I think I realized today is that I don't want to do this forever, it's starting to wear on me a little. That is one of the major reasons I am going to doctoral school. My real passions are moving towards research and writing in the scholarly realm, that's where I see myself, teaching, education, is my field, so these classroom years are necessary. I don't want to say that I'm doing it gritting my teeth, I think I have a great job and I always enjoy my students and give them everything I can. I just don't think I can do it for a lot longer, I work around many people who are teachers, 100%. They spend every waking hour in the classroom, at the expense of having a life, and I respect them for that, but I would have to quit if that ever became me, I refuse to let it happen.

The realities of public school are heavy. I look out there and see new policy after new policy, and not many of them make sense. I get program after program rammed down my throat, and none of them make a lick of sense and don't really matter. I see old administrators leave and new ones come, but it's all the same story with a different bad guy (or good guy, whatever). I honestly don't know how cynical, self-sufficient people like me last longer than a year or two in this field. My dad did it for almost 30, and I'll be lucky to make it for 5 or 6. I completely understand why the turnover rate in this field is so high.

Teaching is difficult, we're asked to do things that don't make sense and go against learning. I've actually come to the point where I close the door to my classroom and actually let my students learn, and they love me for it. The only problem is I'm not giving them test prep material, and am probably labeled as a marginal teacher at best. Oh well, I can't let that bother me, because those people who would label me that are ignorant, right? My doctoral degree is (hopefully) going to be in my hand in 2012, so that's four years of teaching left. I don't even know if I can do that, I'll just have to take it one at a time.

So here's to another year on the job.